Today I Discovered I am a Masochist.

I have a HUGE weakness. Here in this part of the country we have a BEAUTIFUL place, a MAGICAL place, a PERFECT place we like to call...THE PIZZA FACTORY.

The addiction started in high school it was our little hang out spot then it didn't get any better when I became friends with the owners son. Oh dear oh dear. It was bad.

When I moved away I was sadden by the thought of departing from that perfect pasta (yes it's a pizza factory that made pasta) and heavenly, succulent, bread sticks. If man and food were allowd to marry I would marry those bread sticks.

So with tears in my eyes I parted ways and never looked back.

But then the other day I was looking for a place to eat with my auntie C and as we were driving up and down the hills throughout our beautiful city I saw the clouds part, angels started singing and there it was...a Pizza Factory glistening in the sun calling out my name. I almost fainted with excitement and had to put pressure on my chest because my heart started pounding and jumping out of control.

Because of it my aunt and I have gone there not once but three times in the last week and a half.

Now many of you may be thinking big deal, that sounds wonderful. but the thing is, I think i'm gluten intolerant or something. When I eat too much bread I not only spend the next three days in the bathroom puking and other things, but I also end up having episode after episode.

So it was NO surprise when I had a big ol' doosy of an event last night. It was one of the most terrible events I've had for a couple of months. Every sensory nerve in my body was going nuts. I couldn't touch anything without stings of uncomfortable spikes pressed through my skin. I can't explain it any other way then it feels the same way for your skin as it feels for your ears to hear finger nails on the chalk board. Clothes off, I was on my tip toes with my arms stretched out and my legs spread so that nothing was touching me. Including the carpet. The only thing that seemed to help was an intensely cold shower and spending a good couple of hours out in the cold. Then the migraine and wiggly limbs came.

and it may all be because of those heavenly bread sticks. (BTW when your obsessively track what you eat and do then compare it to your episodes and events, this will allow you to connect what triggers them.) Oh dear. Yes I know. So last night I swore I would refrain, not allow myself to be weak and never go back. But then my aunt came over and she needed a fix. Oh no, I've made her an addict. She was jonesing bad, and honestly, so was I. My mom gave me that look, you know the mom look. But my cravings were pushing me, chewing at me, my heart gave out and I went. Ordered my usual salad and bread sticks. and now 'I've been going back and forth to the bathroom and I know that by the time the sun is up my brain will be extra foggy and my i'll be fighting off my wiggly limbs.

I must be a masochist. I still want another one.