"Doctor there's no way I can be pregnant, gestation freaks me out."

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Today I had the privilege to go visit my ObGyn and as I was lying there and feeling like I was on a crate of dynamite while riding a horse I began to have a delightful discussion with mydoctor. Why is it that when something new and weird shows up the doctors always resort to asking if I could be preggers? Even the ones who KNOW how much birth control I’m on, including the ultimate beauty of abstinence. That’s right people I’m abstinent, by choice! I know who’d a thought that there were still virgins in this world? Well I could show you a few people who qualify. Yes, we all live in bomb shelters and have never been exposed to the outside world. Beside even if I wasn't a nun I still would do everything in my power not to get pregnant, gestation freaks me out.

So Dear Doctors,

Just because I’m weak all the time, have extremely low blood pressure, and vomit every morning at the exact same time and after every meal; it does NOT mean I’m pregnant.

Please figure out what’s wrong, and believe me when I say, there’s no way in hell it’s possible!

Sincerely, your high paying patient.

On a more happy note I received my Mayo Clinic paper work in the mail today. It’s been a long fight, many tests, even more doctor’s visits, a couple of surgeries but I finally made it. I’m on my way! And even though I know that there’s no cure, I still believe a miracle can happen that will help treat me so I can have a better quality of life and longer life span. Wootie! Wootie!

And to top it off Jimmy Eat World’s on letterman tonight! So minus the lame brain doctor It’s been a freaking awesome day and I’m one happy girl!!